Can Purell be used as lube?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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