dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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