I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
