normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
