im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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