Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
