bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize