But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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