I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm too high and old for this...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
