I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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