i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
