i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
