i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
