somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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