i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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