ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize