pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
