wake up i wanna do it froggy style
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
