operation harelip BJ is a go
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
