Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize