would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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