google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
