yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
