You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
