one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
