Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
