dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
