Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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