i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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