But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
