wanna go halves on a baby?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
