they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
