so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
