just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
