Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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