Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
