What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize