I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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