I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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