In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
