if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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