We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize