youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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