ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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