I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
