Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
