wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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