My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
