So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize