Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
