That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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