Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
