GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
