the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
