Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
