I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
