so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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