so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
