Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
