your room smells of hookers.
And success
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
