They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
