Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
