So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
