For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
