You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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