my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The ass gains better be worth it
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