If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
