therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
soo... how was my night?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
