she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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