yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
