she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I look better un-naked...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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