so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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