he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
