I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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