If i come over, it means nothing
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
