so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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