Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
