i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
