I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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