If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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