Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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